In this lesson you will learn how to give malicious whingers the respect they deserve.
Hello, AHPRA employee. It’s time to test your knowledge about “vexatious” complaints.
1. How do you spell the word “vexatious”?
A. Vexatius
B. Vexatios
C. Vexatiuos
D. Vaxatious
E. Marmalade
2. What does “vexatious” as in “vexatious complaint” mean?
A. Frivolous
B. Capricious
C. Whimsical
D. Made solely to harass, annoy or subdue somebody
E. A type of eczema
F. All of the above
3. Which sentence represents a vexatious statement? More than one answer may be correct.
A. A patient complains that their doctor is Satan because they once refused to prescribe them Lyrica.
B. A clown car accidentally crashes into the side of a government building
C. A man proudly wears a T-shirt with the letter Z on it, even though he reaps the benefits of living in a free and open western democracy.
D. A patient complains about his GP because when he described how he tried to hook out the maggot that lives in his brain with a wire coathanger his GP just put his head in his hands and sighed.
4. Complete this sentence. Vexatious complaints …
A. Are quite entertaining for AHPRA staff. Reading a story that belongs in the pages of Fortean Times can brighten up anybody’s morning.
B. Should be dealt with in a timely manner due to the unnecesssary distress it can cause the clinician.
C. Should be dumped in an incinerator in the basement to waste less of everyone’s time.
D. Are a salutory reminder to us all that we are living in the kind of nightmarish bureaucracy Kafka described in The Trial way back in 1914.
5. Which of the following images best represents a “vexatious complaint”?
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
6. If “veaxatious” were a sensation it would
A. Taste a bit like almonds.
B. Smell like a vet’s flannel.
C. Disturb you in the same indefinable way that listening to bmbmbm by Black Midi does.
D. Cause your head to pound and your skin to prickle.
7. Why have we seen a rise in voxotious complaints?
A. Because patients have unrealistic expectations.
B. Because patients have unrealistic expectations and expect a complete state of mental and physical wellbeing.
C. Because patients have unrealistic expectations and expect a complete state of mental and physical wellbeing for now and forever more.
D. Because everyone these days is some kind of arsehole.
8. We can reduce the number of vaxatious complaints by
A. Charging the complainant a small fee.
B. Clapping anyone that makes a vexatious complaint in irons and throwing vegetables at them.
C. Making it really easy for anyone to submit a vexatious complaint.
D. Promising to publicly name and shame doctors before there’s a shred of evidence that the allegation made against them is true.
Thank you for completing the test section of your training module. If you fail to achieve a pass mark you must complete the module again while having the soles of your feet flayed and listening to bmbmbm.
